Do you find that after Christmas you just have too much "stuff"? Given the chance, I would eat it all in one go rather than have to 'sit nicely' for each pathetic mouthful. Ok, I'd whoopsie, but at least the food boxes would be empty. Anyway, humans are always complaining that they could do with more space so I'd be performing a valuable service.
Currently we have the following in stock:
Baker's Complete Weight Control (no comments please) My allowance is a meagre 15 tiny biscuits per day, the skinflints!
Pedigree Small Bite Mixer (this is a mis-nomer - I have a very LARGE bite and I do not mix very well). I get a mini-handful three times a day a day: firstly in a modified, dead-easy-to-break-into Kong, then in what was once a squeaky monkey but is now merely a head - sans nose and ears - which we call 'monkey-brain' and lastly in a devious Kong device with a weighted base that I bat round the floor, much to everyone's amusement and the annoyance of the neighbours
1 tin of Co-op something-or-other-in-gravy - "with beef"
1.5 Dentastix
2.5 air-dried sausages - extra good if you take them into the garden, bury them and dig them up again, then bury them behind a cushion on the sofa before eating
Charcoal Bonio-type objects - for the breath and digestion don't y' know. Buggers are sold by weight so Lord knows how many I still have to endure.
Last knockings of Natural Dog Food Adult Chicken.Who's the adult, me or the chicken?
Feelwell's Benefits "Good Night" - a sort of lightweight Mandrax for dogs
James Wellbeloved 'Minijacks' - "No beef, no pork, no soya, no wheat, no dairy, no eggs, Noel Edmunds
and finally my favourite 'Burns Kelties' Yummy!
The ingredients of the scoff listed above include the following: duck, liver, brewers' yeast, seaweed, thyme, yucca extract, flax seed, camomile and parsley!! Not so long ago, when you had a dog, right, it slept outside, in a wooden kennel, in all weathers. You fed it scraps and old bones from the butcher. Now I sleep on a warm duvet, in a centrally heated room. And they say "bring back the good old days" Hah hah!
Next post I hope to include contents of the dreaded medicine-box. This might prove to be unsuitable for those of a nervous disposition.
Take it easy, but take it. Arf arf!
